Small Thrills

Last night
with all the expectation a first impression can muster
the what ifs bordering on am I crazy and why bother.
My eternal optimist wages a war of internal monologues with her cynic foe.

I painted my nails
a merely symbolic pale pink just enough color to hide the dings.
They will be revealed soon enough one nail at a time chipping, torn, picked away.

The joys of a new language the culture of me meets the world of who?
Possibility is the label I shall pin on this small thrill;
of conversation, connection and pasta.
I paint my nails in anticipation of really good pasta
... and maybe a glass of wine

In Ohio I started drinking my coffee black, up until then it had been light and sweet regular coffee in New York City. Hospitals have the best coffee, that my not be such a universal truth anymore as espresso carts are taking over the lobby and Starbucks has caught wind a great marketing opportunity. So many people empolyed in the effort to prevent early checkout or makeing the most of life altering situations. Everyone from business to surgery works long hours sustained by caffeine predominately in the form of coffee. Then there are the visitors, the other portion of the cafeterias clientele, they pay full price but can usually get a free refill. You need the caffeine to help when keeping vigil, just in case a doctor graces the room with his presence, you must be ready as the opportunity to ask the gnawing questions may not present itself again. The coffee they brew on the floors for the patients is not the same, in fact at meals that would be the number one complaint, "the coffee is awful". Especially the thickened instant coffee; or patients who already are having trouble swallowing this is guaranteed to make one gag. "It is better than nothing", I try to console, no one seems to be buying this. I hope Mrs. S has finally had her coffee she left for an extended care facility. All she wanted was one strong cup of hot black coffee. She said milk masks the taste, by the time ones late eighties foll around the pretence of milk is unnecessary. Open and honest, without pretension, living life like a cup of hospital coffee...black.